


Fading Light

by oaken



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Also Tim makes a cameo bc I love Tim fight me, Ficlet, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:19:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oaken/pseuds/oaken
Summary: They were soldiers that had learned how to hide bleeding wounds and fear behind mask of strength. And yet they were still young boys that had no experience with emotions so fragile and soft, especially for one another.





	Fading Light

The heavy piece of wood landing among smoldering remains of a bonfire sent a flutter of ash and sparks off the ground. The cloud of ash settled easily mere inches above the ground, but sparks flew ever higher until they faded against the darkness of night sky, no doubt extinguished by a harsher breeze that clung to treetops. A single green eye watched the dying of this light.

Lavi’s gaze remained on the sky, following the movement of clouds overhead where branches didn’t obscure the view. The howling of the cold autumn wind that had pulled their clothes and whipped their faces seemed a distant memory now. The thick trunks of trees protected from the rising storm better any cheap hotel walls ever could.

The single drawback was deep darkness of the forest at night. Lavi glanced around, sudden anxiety seeping underneath the warm layer of clothes and sending a chill up his spine. No eyes watching or shadows stretching towards them, thankfully. The circle of light from the bonfire was as safe as it had been when Allen had just managed to get it started upon sunset.

A gust of wind had found its way among the trees, however, and whizzed past, making the flames flicker. The soundly sleeping form at Lavi’s side moved. The redhead glanced down to find Allen still asleep but closer, forehead pressed against the warmth of Lavi’s side, and white fluff of hair sticking out in various directions.

He felt his lips quirking into a wide grin. This was a perfect opportunity for a prank. What should it be? Drawing on Allen’s face? The last time had been marvelous! Perhaps something new? His hair? Clothes? Timcanpy?

As if feeling the last thought, the golden golem that had sat still for hours on top of Allen’s head moved to disappear into the hood of the boy’s coat. The tip of the tail still peeking out and round bump remained as only telltale signs that anything was hiding there at all.

“Fine, fine, I’ll leave you alone,” Lavi muttered, trying to suppress a chuckle.

The movement of his golem and Lavi’s voice seemed to have disturbed Allen. His eyebrows furrowed, and the peaceful expression was replaced with a sleepy frown as he cracked open one eye. Grey glinted with warm light from the bonfire.

Lavi greeted Allen’s gaze with a shake of his head.

“You can still sleep, it’s not your turn.”

“Too late. I’m up,” Allen’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat.

Lavi moved to free up some space next to the bonfire. If Allen’s scrunched up shoulders and arms hugging himself were to be trusted, the boy was in a dire need of warmth. Amusement bubbled up in Lavi’s chest and spilled past his lips in a soft laugh as the other plopped down next to him.

“What?”

“I told you that snuggling up for warmth was a good idea~”

Instead of an answer a shove followed, sending Lavi to the ground. The redhead laughed but was in no hurry to get back up. From his spot on the ground, he eyed his companion up and down, fully assured of his victory in this argument. Allen crossed his arms spitefully, but the flash of color on his cheeks told all Lavi needed to know. He had won. And, perhaps, in more ways than one.

When Lavi finally straightened himself and sat back up, his shoulder brushed against Allen’s. He could feel the smaller frame stiffen. A quick glance informed him that it was more than lack of comfort about physical closeness - Allen’s teeth were relentlessly gnawing away on his bottom lip, and his eyes refused to focus on anything other than the bonfire.

Lavi knew. And he was fairly sure Allen knew about him in turn as well.

They were soldiers that had learned how to hide bleeding wounds and fear behind mask of strength. And yet they were still young boys that had no experience with emotions so fragile and soft, especially for one another. They never talked about it, never pursued them. Just often sat a little closer than with any other person - waiting, hoping and always ending disappointed when something pulled them apart eventually.

These feelings, whatever they were, had no place in this war.

Lavi reached for a branch and poked the bonfire, sending another set of sparks into the air like dying fireflies. Then again, and again. The flames that had been sneaking a little high for Lavi’s comfort and dousing the two in so much warmth that the coats started to feel tight and suffocating, eased. Domesticated like a cat, fire clung closer to wood while the circle of light around them grew smaller. But Lavi didn’t notice the shadows stretching longer.

With the scrawny shoulder pressed against his own, the whole world was bright even in the darkest hours of the night. The very understanding of light he had thought merely opposite to darkness had changed. Before Allen he had not even considered that light could be a feeling. Now it was all it could possibly be.

And it felt odd. Just like the soft breathing of his own - uneven, but so briefly that only Lavi himself noticed. Or heartbeats that ached with sweetness and regret alike. Or heat that was ever present in hollow of his chest. And sometimes - attention ever wandering back towards the tips of silver hair and cheeks dimpled ever so softly with the upturned lips of a sweet smile. That was what light felt like.

Light, Lavi reminded himself, that he had to share with the whole world.

The young boy next to him that fiddled with the buttons of his coat? He was more than just ‘Allen’. He was a symbol, an idea. ‘Destroyer of Time’. Unclear fate that rang with finality of doom. After all - destroyers often disappeared along with whatever it was they shattered or rid the world of. Every major action deserved a sacrifice to be performed to succeed. One’s life was more often than not this price.

The single green eye closed, and Lavi struggled to stay still.

Next to him sat a martyr whose face and heart would disappear one day, leaving only ink behind - his name, and a handful of numbers that signified birth, death and important accomplishments, if any. The rest of him was about to be swallowed by time, erased and forgotten when everyone that ever met him died. 

Nobody would know of those tiny shoulders or the little scar on his finger where Tim had bitten, or the childish infatuation of his with lies Allen had been presented with as ‘Lavi’. Like light he was, Allen would flicker and disappear, leaving mere echo of himself behind, if even that.

And yet Lavi hesitated to follow his own egotistic desire to engulf himself in Allen’s light, steal him from the whole world and keep him safe, remembered. There was no way he could, no way he should.

Longing in his chest cared nothing about any of the ‘should’ and ‘mustn’t’ reasons he offered it, however. The young Bookman felt his fingertips itch and burn with desire to reach over and entangle themselves with Allen’s, felt the searing ache of his lips for warmth of the other’s against them. 

Hushing the longing, all he permitted himself was sitting a little too close and engaging in endless chatter with the boy for hours on end until dawn began to paint the world bright once more. Those hours would remain with Lavi even when Allen was long since an scribble of ink in his notebook, and the calling of a Bookman had spirited Lavi away towards yet another unfolding event that would shape the world itself. Those hours awake, close by each other’s side, chatting, longing, always disappointed but always happy - they’d remain his guiding light, a self-indulgent, private feeling Lavi could not seem to rid himself off.

But it was not time to say goodbyes yet.

He grinned and slinked one arm around Allen’s shoulders, the joke driving his actions excusing whatever they stirred within his chest.

“You never said ‘no’. Cuddling it is then!”

“H-hey!”

Cloud of sparks rushed from bonfire towards the sky, two of the flickers flying high above the treetops, racing a breeze that chased after to snuff them out.

**Author's Note:**

> Another writing challenge done! This time my favorite boys because I love them. ...Like I love pain, apparently.


End file.
